It's been a while since I blogged - this year I'm attempting to journal more in a dream and journal book - keeping track of tarot readings and dreams and otherwise connecting to spirituality - figuring out what I believe. This morning, I was listening to the Tragically Hip - first time since Gord died that I listened with old ears, and not through a veil of grief that we'll never have new music from them again. As I listened to Ahead by a Century, I remembered hearing this song for the first time. I had a two year old and a baby. Married, still, to my ex. Our apartment was nice, breezy, and in tones of grey. Things were not perfect, but as the song played and I stared out the window, it dawned on me I was not in love with my husband. I'd always known, of course, that I didn't feel about him the way I felt about the person before him. I didn't have the suffocating feeling of love, the chemical induced feelings, or the passion. But the song ...