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it can wait

 My manager, the other day, was talking about some new priorities and agreeing that we should put something off to reprioritize and she said, "that can wait until january".  It gave me pause.

Not everything needs to be done and needs to be done right now.  Somehow, that got engrained in me in a weird way that makes me compulsive and weird and obligated and stressed.

Yesterday, the kids were over.  We let the puppies play, my son's gf and i did errands, and then we got pizza delivered  and played settlers of cavan.    it was a busy night - four adults, four dogs (two of them puppies under 4 months), and laughing.. and I didn't do the dishes.  Normally, I'd take ten minutes and quickly clean up - but the "it can wait" floated in the background and made me realize that the dishes were not the priority - that a clean house *whatever that means* was not prioritized over time with my son and his gf.  

So we played and we drank and we ate and we played with the dogs and the kids left at 8.

And I was tired.  So I took the dogs for a walk, got bob ready for bed so he could watch the raptors' game on his tablet, and by 9:15 the puppy was in her kennel and the bigger dogs away for the night and the dishes were still not done but I took a gummie and went to bed.

What?

I took some cannabis - pure indica - the "body high" not the mind-high.  It makes me super relaxed and super chill and I was likely asleep before 9:30.  Another no-no from the control of the church - it's okay to have a glass of wine but not okay to pop some cannabis?    Does it make me low life?  No.

I just wanted to chillax and fall asleep and think of what a great day I had had.

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