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the oveRwheLming tide of Resentment

 The title kind of sums it up.  I'm sitting at my desk after 2 months of being sick.  Coughing, breathing issues, pneumonia, bronchitis, swollen and painful ribs and muscles.  I have not stopped working, not stopped caring for Bob, even when I was sleeping in the recliner because it hurt too much to lay down.

This week - I'm better.  And he gets covid.

Firstly, he got covid because he doesn't wear a mask if he doesn't "have to" and I think he's reckless and ridiculous.  We've had multiple conversations about this - including the impact to ME if he gets sick or if I get sick.  He does his own thing.  He was exposed because he was in a cab with a driver sneezing and coughing and then worked in a soup kitchen.  So there's that resentment, festering.  The fact that I have to always think about others, always put others first, never get to do what i want or make time for me..  and he won't wear a mask in cabs and while he volunteers unless the organization makes him.

Because he'll meet their requirements, but not mine.

That's what it comes down to.  He respects them more.  He's more willing to comply.  And when I think like this I go absolutely batshit crazy.  

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