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caRegiving is haRd

 Caregiving is hard.  

I love Bob - he's a fantastic guy who gives his all - his amazing attitude about his illness and how he still gives back the community is inspiring - as much as everyone connected to the disabled community hates the word inspiring.  

But I miss Bob.  The real Bob - the funny, kind of mean Bob who laughed hard and smiled more and wasn't so demanding.  The Bob who had patience and grace and wasn't defensive.  The Bob before the power chair and AA meetings.  Not that I would like the alcoholic behaviours to resurface, but this new fanatical AA Bob is a touch annoying - his cult-like behaviour and dedication to his phone and his AA friends to the exclusion of me and the dogs is frustrating.

He just called me - because his nail brush was not where he left it.  He leaves everything where he last used it and I moved it because it had gotten dirty.  So in front of his PSW he not only interrupts me to get it (instead of her, which she is paid to do), he then questions me about my use of it and its intended use, and I got frustrated and left.  He can't even inconvenience someone else, and he has to interrogate me like I'm using his nail brush to clean sinks and it might be a federal crime.

I'm tired of having the person I take care of treat me like shit.  I'm tired of him assuming I'm doing things wrong or talking to me like a child.  I feel really let down by life today - if he was treating me like this and not disabled I'd leave.  I know it is his fragile brain.. but this is so hard.


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