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enteRing the unknown

 In August I started going to al-anon. 

It took a while for me to join - having been nudged repeatedly but being nervous in general about the God (capital G he/him) content while deconstructing my faith and rebuilding it.  I was assured over and over that your higher power could be anything but it still didn't feel like something I could do.

But I went.  Met some people.  Bought a workbook.  Started reading.  Changed groups.  Met more people, bought another workbook, got a sponsor.

I'm going to start writing about what I'm learning, but first - let me qualify.

I've got several alcoholics in my life.  Four that impact me the most - the first, who I didn't know was one, and found out about two years ago when they got sober, and have been adjusting and learning ever since.  Another, who is older and sober, and is not always "working their program".  Another, who has abused alcohol and drugs for years and has turned our family inside out over and over again - and is now in recovery and I'm processing that - with a lack of accountability and apology that's hurting my heart.  And finally, from my family of origin - someone I consider a "dry alcoholic" - raised by alcoholics, doesn't seem to have "the disease" but has many of the traits I see in other children-of-alcoholics and how I'm processing what that meant to me, the child.

I'll try not to out anyone, and to protect the anonymity while also growing and learning myself.   


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